Progress on People Pleasing/Approval Seeking

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God?

Or am I trying to please people?

If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

~ Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

I am much less of a people pleaser than I used to be. If I don’t want to do something with someone, then I say no. If I’m having a hard time saying no, or the person is being persistent, then I may tell them I’ll check my schedule and get back to them. Then later I will decline their offer in a nice way. If I’m with someone I don’t see too often, I may bend to their wishes to honor what they want to do.

People pleasing does not mean that I will give up my plans in certain critical areas. For instance, CoDA meetings, journaling, worship, and exercise are non-negotiable.

Yet sometimes I still worry that if I don’t do what people want, they will take their love away. This still happens sometimes with my family of origin. I learned this behavior from them and I learned it well. But I am getting better. More often than not, I speak up about my needs and desires in a nice way. Sometimes it is still scary, but I do it.

I still am fearful to some degree that the person will get mad at me, especially if it is someone who is close to me. However, it is better than it used to be. I still get a tiny bit of panic or concern in my stomach when the words leave my mouth, but at least I’m saying it and that is a huge leap forward.

If I get into a quandary about what to do, then I stop and ask God what he wants me to do. Then I do that. Because I am here to do what God wants me to do, not what others want me to do. Doing what God wants me to do fills me with inner peace.