Humility

Humility

But it’s all in His time

Listening’s up to me

Got to do as I’m told

He has a plan for me

Loveable faithful me

The future is mine to see

Listening to his voice

He knows what’s best for me

~ Change from Fearless Moral Inventory

by Juliet A. Wright, copyright 2008, all rights reserved

Humility is one of the most important and meaningful spiritual principles for me. I must learn to be humble if I’m going to heal and grow as God’s child.

My definition of humility is that I recognize that I’m not any better than anyone else, I don’t have all the answers, and I’m not in charge. God’s in charge. It’s about what He wants.

Scripture speaks well of humility…

Humility makes us patient under trials.

~ Job 1:22 (NIV)

These are the ones I look on with favor:
those who are humble and contrite in spirit,
and who tremble at my word.

~ Isaiah 66:2 (NIV)

God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.

^{~1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)}

Humility is the bed on which Step 7 rests:

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.^[1]

Humility to me means that there is a God and I am not God. I heard that in a meeting once and really liked it.

God has a plan and I know very little about it. But he has a plan and it’s a good one. Far be it for me to call God’s plan anything less than perfect.

So I became aware of, accepted, and became ready to let go of my defects, especially over-responsibility and caretaking. Now I humbly ask God to remove them. God is above me. He is powerful over all things. He is wise. He knows what is best. So when I ask, I ask in that light, knowing that He sees the whole picture and I am just a tiny piece of dust. I only see what’s around me. So I ask in that context, humbly, not knowing the whole story.

I think faith ties into humility too. If I have faith in God the way I say I do, then I should be able to trust whatever He says and do what He is asking without question or doubt. This requires being humble and getting my big, fat human ego and pride out of the way. My defects of character include pride, vanity, control, over-responsibility and caretaking, amongst many others. God help me give up these defects.

To me, humility means that God knows everything and I know nothing. I give my life to God and submit to what I believe is His will for me. I will listen to God for guidance, and when I receive it, I will thank Him. When wisdom comes from my mouth after I’ve prayed, I know it is from God. Heck, whenever wisdom comes from my mouth at all — whether I’ve prayed or not — it is God, not me.

One Thanksgiving Day, I was driving north to see friends. I saw a beautiful sky filled with mysterious dark clouds and yet these clouds were surrounded by a little bit of pink, with the sun’s rays trying to break through it all. Then the Holy Spirit told me that the purpose of our lives is to make God smile. I need to be humble, admit when I’m wrong, and give to others. His sky made me smile. Nothing like one of God’s beautiful skies to make me submit to God. Thanks for the reminder, God. I got it and needed it. You are in charge.

When I’m humble, I ask God to remove my defects of self-will, selfishness, a controlling nature, and my urge to fix everyone and everything. Fixing everyone and all of their problems is not my job. It’s God’s job. Juliet needs to stop trying to do God’s job. I am not God. So I humbly admit that it is all about what God wants, not about what I want. I’m not in charge.

At the end of the Book of Job, Job realizes that he has to love God for who God is, not what God gives him. That is humility. I need to get out of the way, love and trust God, and submit to His will. I need to live in holy obedience so His will can be done through me and God can make me into the person He wants me to be.

I am one of the vehicles through which God works on this planet. In order to successfully complete this journey, I must get out of God’s way so He can work. I can do this by asking God to live through me. I did this recently. I was getting ready for a gig that was supposed to happen that night. I was worried about my set list and readings list. So I asked God to write the set and readings list for me. It worked really well. I felt really ready for my gig.

My family of origin taught me that I was responsible for everyone else. I was responsible for their behavior and their feelings. I have been practicing that behavior for many years. I started chipping away at it when I got into recovery nine years ago. I am only responsible for myself. That is the only person I can take care of. How egotistical of me to think I can fix others. I need to humble myself before God and give my family, the grief, the outcomes, the future back to Him. He has a plan. He knows best. He is wise. I must remember that and bow down before Him. Then I must do the work He has put me on this earth to do.

I will practice humility. This is God asking me to be humble. Asking me to do His work, risk looking like a moron. It’s about God, not me.

Practicing humility means that I’m willing to get up and try again. I won’t let my pride make me quit, even after I look like a stupid fool in front of people — such as with my students.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve swallowed my pride so much I want to vomit everything up in front of me. That’s how I felt in my family of origin. My inner child thinks this means that she doesn’t matter, only other people matter. She thinks humility means she is going to get silenced again. She thinks humility means she doesn’t count, her voice won’t be heard. I reassure her and tell her that’s not true. What’s true is that she is a beloved child of God. She does have a voice and there is a time and place for that. She must also submit to God’s authority and listen to Him. She must obey.

Juliet’s Mantras that Help:

• I’m not in charge here.

• Be still and know that I am God. ~Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

God’s way is the better way. Humility means that even if you have an idea about what to do, you should do it the way God wants you to do it. In the end, it will serve Him better — which means in the long run that it will serve you better. As my sponsor Grace says, “Turning it over means trusting that God loves you enough to give you the good stuff.”

So humility is necessary if I’m going to turn my defects over to God for Him to remove if and when He chooses. So I give it to God. When He answers me, I accept it, do it, move on. That is humility. He knows what’s better for me than I do.

I have Positive Affirmations that help me with my humility:

• I humble myself before the Lord; I will listen.
• It’s not about what I want, it’s about what God wants.
• I submit to the will of the Lord.
• God will live my life for me today. I don’t have to do anything. All I have to do is be a body.
• God will overcome the false prophets in my head.

Additional practices I engage in when working the Principle of Humility:

• Worship: Talking to God through consistent morning prayers and meditation is necessary for me to get out of the driver’s seat and focus on what God wants. I need to be alone with God every morning to listen for His voice and serve Him better.
• Journaling: I journal every morning to get the pride, ego, and control issues out of me and into the open so they can be dealt with.
• Exercise: Working out on my punching bag, swimming, walking on my treadmill or in Hopkins Forest, and lifting weights all help me to calm down and see things more clearly.
• Scripture: Reading the bible every morning helps me to remember that God is in charge of my life. He must come first and is giving me guidance on what to do.
• Constant God connection: I pray as much as I can throughout the day. This includes morning and evening prayers on my knees, silent prayers, and listening for His direction throughout my day.
• Read the daily list: I read my list of defects of character to God every morning and humbly ask Him to remove them if and when He is ready.
• Submission: When God gives me a message, instructions, or assignments, I try to do them, whether I want to do them or not. I trust that He knows what’s best for me more than I do. I do my best.
• Awareness: I increase my awareness of my moods, my actions, and the things that are happening around me. By being more aware of what’s happening in my body, my feelings, and my brain, I can be more available to hear what He has to say and become more humble.
• Slogans: I repeat my favorite slogans, such as “There is a God, it is not me,” “I can’t, God can, I think I’ll let Him,” “Willingness is key,” “This too shall pass,” and “Just for today.” Repeating the slogans really helps me relax.
• Rest: I get more sleep so I can hear what God is saying to me.
• Let it go: I realize that things happen. I don’t have control over what goes on.

^[1] Co-Dependents Anonymous. Co-Dependents Anonymous. Dallas, TX: CoDA Resource Publishing, 2009, p. iv.