Simplicity — My 13th Principle

Simplicity is closely akin to sincerity — a genuineness of life and speech

in which there is no place for sham or artificiality… A life of simplicity and sincerity may be full of activity but it must be a life centered in God.

            ~ Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, Faith and Practice, 1961

Simplicity is my 13^th principle. I need to get back to simplicity. Sometimes I feel like my life is getting too cluttered and full of unnecessary distractions and complications. They have to go.

To me, if I’m living a life of simplicity, it means that I am living a life that has clarity of purpose, is centered on God, and is free of unnecessary distractions and clutter. This is a great goal and one that I strive to achieve.

I live my life for God. My life is His to do with what He will. One could say He is the center of my life, my reason for being. Thus, everything else in my life must support this focus and not distract me from it.

This means I must do everything in my life from this place. I must teach for God, work out for God, write my books and my music for God, take care of my house for God, do service work for CoDA and Quaker Meeting for God, and do my step work for God.

This also means that anything that would distract me from this life’s purpose has to go. Now, in clarifying this, I must say that if I have something that sometimes makes my life easier, I can keep it, even if at first glance it may seem unnecessary or, if you will, complicated.

There are many things in my life that could go on this list. My cell phone, my TV, my computer, my microwave, my new, seemingly complicated land-line telephone and answering system, my new printer, and every new computer program that seems to land on my lap for any number of reasons, whether it is for my job or related to my service work in CoDA or Quaker Meeting.

There are times when any of these items seems to make my life easier. My cell phone, for example, is helpful when I am way from my home and need to contact someone quickly. It’s handy if I’m stranded on the side if the road and need to call a tow truck, and the cell phone would be important if, God forbid, I was in trouble, needed to call the cops, and was away from home. It is also handy to have when the power and phone lines go down, which isn’t very often, thank heavens.

Computers have made life easier in a lot of ways. Word processing programs have made it possible to write things, such as books, reports and letters, much more quickly. With the touch of a button, we can erase a mistake. Back when I was a kid, we had to use white correction fluid, or retype the document if it was to be handed in for a grade for school or important for some other reason. My school district is starting the teachers on all sorts of new computer programs for all sorts of reasons, from planning lessons to uploading our teacher evaluation documents onto a website for all the world to see.

Photocopiers have sure saved the day as we press a button and get copies quickly and cleanly. No more messy carbon paper getting dark smudges all over your fingers.

And after reading in this book how much I struggle with my telephone issues, a new message machine that has a silent feature, programmable ring volumes, caller ID, and more is just what the doctor ordered for Juliet.

The new cable television boxes and their remote controls can provide endless channels full of entertainment if you desire that.

All of these new technologies, of course, have down sides. Computer programs need to be learned. Computers and Internet services fritz out and don’t always work right. Fixing them can be anything but plain and simple. When they break down, writing something by hand can be easier, quicker, and less rage-producing than repeatedly trying to use something that’s not working. Learning new computer programs is time-consuming and, for me, anything but simple.

Photocopiers are a Godsend, but they break, get jammed, and can be complicated to fix to the point where you see signs on them at work and the copy place that say, “Please don’t fix this yourself. Get assistance.” That’s not simple.

The new cable television systems are not simple for me because I can’t seem to learn how to work the new all-in-one remote controls that come with them. So they really end up making my life more complicated. Frustration and often rage come walking in my emotional door and off I go on a rant. Therefore I only have very basic cable on my television, which delivers just the 12 local channels. I have a simple remote that operates my aged television, one that operates my DVD/VCR and one that operates the cable. The television is hardly ever on, so the cable remote doesn’t get used much. Not having to deal with that impossible all-in-one remote control makes my life simpler and happier.

The cell phone is handy, but sometimes too handy and downright distracting. I have a regular, old-fashioned LG cellphone. It’s not a Smart Phone or an iPhone. I got a Smart Phone about a year ago. I had it for 24 hours and took it back. That is way too much availability for me. There is no reason on Earth I need to be that in touch with people or the world. My job gives me a laptop computer with which to connect to my work world through email. That’s fine. I can check that email on my home computer when I get home. I don’t need to, nor do I want to be available to the whole world every minute. It would do me well to let all of the people in my life, especially the parents of my students, know that I do not have a Smart Phone and am not available at all hours. The majority of our society today seems to be plugged in to their phones at all hours. That’s not Juliet’s plan.

There are times when I need to turn off my land-line phone, cell phone, computer, and television and just sit. Stop getting all this input and sit. Just sit and breathe. Or just get on the treadmill and walk. No book or magazine to read, just some music playing on my iPod with me walking and breathing. Yeah, okay, my iPod is going. But I’m not one of those people who is plugged in 24/7, oblivious to the world, crossing the street in front of a Mack truck five seconds from death. I see people behaving like that every day when I’m driving from one school to another during my workday or when I’m on my way home from work. I only have my iPod going when I’m working out on the treadmill, the cross trainer, or lifting weights in a safe environment.

What does all of this have to do with my codependency? It has to do with me taking care of myself. Unplugging from the world is Juliet taking care of herself. That is Juliet letting go of her over-responsibility and caretaking and turning the attention back to God and herself. This is a good thing. I need this. This is part of the way that I give back to people what is theirs. Let’s say a friend is calling me on my phone at 9:30 pm wanting me to solve the problems she is having with her love life. Society today would probably say that is my job. My therapist, my sponsor, my program friends, my Quaker Clearness Committee (discussed in the “Faith” section of this book and in my first book as well), and God through his word say that being a “fix it” person and solving their problems is not my job. That is between the person and God.

So I give people back the issues that were theirs to begin with. I turn the attention back to myself and God, where it belongs. I continue on my God-centered life. Life becomes simpler. I breathe easier.

I used to read when I was on the treadmill. It did help to pass the time more quickly. On the other hand, I don’t have a good reading rack, so I would be dropping things and watching them roll on down the treadmill onto the floor, which would make me angry. I often read the notes I take from my therapist and sponsor meetings while walking on the treadmill. Quite often my notebook would accidentally push a button on the treadmill. All of a sudden instead of doing a brisk walk, it would be like I was running a marathon at full force. Yikes! Then everything would go flying off the treadmill. Then more anger and rage would raise their ugly heads. Not good.

Simplicity is going for a walk. One of my favorite things in life is to walk in the woods near my home. However, it’s been winter here in Vermont for what seems like forever, so I haven’t seen the woods for a while. So lately I have been trying to practice the principle of simplicity when I am on the treadmill. That means I just walk and listen to the music. That’s it. Sometimes I pick up my hand weights to get my heart rate going. At first, when I tried this, I thought, “Wow, this is really boring! But at least I’m really focusing on what I’m doing with my body.” Now I say my positive affirmations 21 times each while I’m on the treadmill. I used to just do this in the pool, but now I do it both places. Put on some tunes and say some affirmations and I’m set. Doing this puts me in a positive state of mind and helps me feel better.

Doing only one thing at a time is simplicity. We live in a multi-tasking world. I overheard a conversation in a coffee shop recently. One person told the other person that they found themselves answering an email, typing a text, and playing WWE games with their son all at the same time. I think society is starting to label this the norm. People get in their car and automatically get their phone out. States are starting to make laws against handheld phones in the car and texting while driving. Thank goodness. Multi-tasking does not fit into the mindset of simplicity. Now once in a while if it’s necessary for me to multitask, which it always is at my job, then that’s okay. But it’s also okay to do just one thing at a time. I think it would be okay for the world to just slow down a little bit. I think it would be okay for Juliet to slow down just a little bit.

I practice simplicity when I just sit and listen to God. I listen for his guidance and direction. I don’t over-analyze what I’m doing or how I’m doing it. I just sit and listen. I get quiet. I focus on my breathing. That brings serenity. That is the point of program. That is recovery. As the slogan says, “Keep it simple, stupid.”

Now once I’ve heard what God wants me to do, I try to do that. That is simplicity. If he tells me not to do something, I try not to do that thing. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. I’m not perfect. I’m human. I keep trying. I persevere.

I practice simplicity when I grab my violin, pull out a piece of music and play it. Just pick the instrument up and play it. No need to over-think it or spend time outlining the perfect practice session. Just start playing and what I need to work on will be revealed. I need to reinforce this with my students. They need to just pick up their instrument and play for a while. Play each song five times. That’s it. Simple.

A simpler life means an easier life with less distractions that don’t serve me. A plain life lived in this type of humility means less anxiety, stress, and rage. It means more serenity and joy. I am looking forward to living a less cluttered, simpler, more serene life. I will do this with God’s help.

Juliet’s Mantras that Help:

• You are doing God’s work.
• Make everything you do in your life spiritual.
• Hold the outcome in the Light of God.
• Before you go into a room, hold it in the Light of God.
• Use your inner wisdom.
• Relax and watch.
• You are only responsible for yourself.
• Change your “how high” habit. When someone says “jump,” I have a habit of saying “how high?” I don’t have to do what everyone else wants me to do anymore.
• Set boundaries for yourself.
• Do your best, do your Make a Plan Process (covered later in this book), let go and let God.
• Be still and know that I am God. ~Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

I have Positive Affirmations that help me with my simplicity:

• Today everything God intends to accomplish in and through me shall be done.
• I listen to the Christ within that loves, guides, and strengthens me.
• All good in me comes from God.
• Let God’s will be done through me.
• Let life be willed through me.
• I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

~Ephesians 4:1 (NIV)

Additional practices I engage in when working the Principle of Simplicity:

• Submission: I get down on my knees in the morning, give my life and my day to God, and ask that His will be done. I say The Lord’s Prayer, The Serenity Prayer, and My 11^th Step Prayer. 
• Journaling: I get everything I’m feeling and thinking out of me and on paper.
• Scripture: Reading the bible every morning helps me to discern God’s will for me and helps to keep Him as the center of my life.
• Worship: I pray to God. I walk into His healing arms. I tell him I’m sorry, what I want, what I don’t want, what I’m grateful for, and ask for help for others. I listen to God through meditation while repeating “Yeshua” or “Here I am, Lord.” These words help me focus on Him during worship.
• Music: Listening to music, such as Mozart’s Requiem, Handel’s Messiah, and Bach’s Sonatas and Partitas, help me focus my mind on God.
• Exercise: Working out really brings me closer to God. I have had a few spiritual awakenings during my morning workouts.
• Quaker Meeting: God speaks to me at Quaker Meeting. Sometimes He speaks to me directly at Meeting or through the messages spoken by others at our weekly worship. Simplicity is at the heart of the Quaker faith (I cover the Quaker silent method of worship in this book’s “Recovery in Religious Organizations.”)
• Constant God connection: I pray as much as I can throughout the day, listen for His guidance, and try to do His will as I think He has told me. Sometimes He speaks to me through other people at my CoDA meetings, through a radio sermon, in a book, or through people I see during my day.
• Slogans: I repeat my favorite slogans, such as “Not my will but thine be done,” “let go and let God,” “I can’t, God can, I think I’ll let Him,” “Keep it simple, stupid,” and “You are exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment.” Repeating the slogans really helps me stay centered on God.
• Service work: I always feel better after doing service work. I know I’ve done God’s work by giving back and helping other people.
• Evening prayers: At night before I go to sleep, I get on my knees and pray that He’ll watch over me.
• Evening surrender: As I’m falling asleep, I repeat, “I surrender, Lord; I surrender.”