Peacemaking

Peacemaking

“Peace, peace, to those far and near,”
    says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”

~ Isaiah 57:19 (NIV)

I think that the biggest evidence that supports my progress in ridding myself of my peacemaking defect is the conflict that arose between Doris and I, which I discussed earlier in this book. I did not engage in peacemaking in that situation. I spoke my truth. Now granted I spoke most of this truth through email, but none-the-less, I did speak it. I didn’t do what the old codependent Juliet would do, which would be to automatically admit I was wrong, that I’m selfish, and that I messed up. Instead, I spoke my truth. But I did it in a nice way that didn’t lay blame, or go into a bunch of explanations.

Now the down side of speaking my truth and causing conflict as a result is that the other person may not like it. Doris didn’t like the new me. The old one was much easier to manipulate and control. But I was authentic. I said what was true for me. Not only that, but I asked God about it first. I asked him what I should say and how I should say it. I also waited before responding to her emails, which is a new, positive step for me. It’s hard for me to wait for things. But I did it and I’m glad. I was able to actually respond from a calm, God-centered place, instead of reacting. It always works better that way.

I am slowly but surely becoming my authentic self.

Now I suppose there are times when I still need to engage in peacemaking. That is when I’m in the classroom or dealing with parents. I have come to realize that if a parent asks for my opinion on a matter, I can give it. Otherwise, it is to my benefit not to say anything. So, for example, when a parent tells me their plans for their child, such as future schooling, or the instrument they are planning to buy, and I don’t agree with it, I actually now step back in silence. I might suggest something, but if they are not open to it, I will just not speak on the subject. Some might consider that peacemaking. So be it. I think since it involves my job and issues that are possibly not my concern anyway, that my choice is understandable.