The Promises and Thoughts on the Promises

The Promises of Co-Dependents Anonymous are still a regular part of my recovery program. I try to read them every day. They motivate me to keep going when times get rough, by reminding me that there is light and recovery at the end of the tunnel.

The 12 Promises of Co-Dependents Anonymous

I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the 12 Steps and follow the 12 Traditions…

1.  I know a new sense of belonging. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.

2.  I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity, and dignity.

3. I know a new freedom.

4.  I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.

5.  I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely loveable, loving, and loved.

6.  I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.

7.  I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships.  The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.

8.  I learn that it is possible for me to mend — to become more loving, intimate, and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.

9.  I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.

10.  I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth. 

11.  I trust the guidance I receive from my Higher Power and come to believe in my own capabilities.

12.  I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.^[1]

Thoughts on the Promises

I was reading the 12 Promises a short time ago and I had a revelation. While all of the promises are slowly coming true for me in my life, there are a few that stuck out. These are Promises 6, 7, 10, and 11.

6.  I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.^[2]

I used to always see myself as less than compared to others. Thanks to working my program that is changing. I am starting to see myself as equal to others.

7.  I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.^[3]

I am learning to maintain relationships with people who are trustworthy, honest, and direct. I am learning to avoid having relationships with people who are controlling, indirect, and manipulative. As a result, I communicate better with others, have more self-confidence, and have healthier relationships in my life.

10.  I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.^[4] 

I used to determine my self-worth by what others thought of me. I don’t have to do that today. I am learning that I’m a worthy, beloved child of God, just because He loves me. I only have to look to Him to provide my sense of worth and He does. I don’t have to get my self-worth from others.

11.  I trust the guidance I receive from my Higher Power and come to believe in my own capabilities.^[5]

I am trying to stay in a constant state of prayer. This has me in much closer contact to God than I ever have been. As a result, I am very tuned in to His guidance. I am learning to trust myself when I receive directions from Him and to follow whatever He tells me to do. I have more confidence now in my ability to discern God’s voice and guidance and to follow them.

I am very grateful for the 12 Promises of Co-Dependents Anonymous, and I will continue to use them as part of my daily recovery program.

^[1] Co-Dependents Anonymous. Co-Dependents Anonymous. Dallas, TX: CODA Resource Publishing, 2009, p. vii.

^[2] Ibid.

^[3] Ibid.

^[4] Ibid.

^[5] Ibid.