Fearless Dedicated Seeker

I am a fearless and dedicated seeker. This is another one of my positive character traits. I am fearless about my seeking. I am fearless about searching my soul to see what is there. As I discussed in the “Soul Searching” section of “The Principles,” that is what I do when I do a Step 4, or a fearless moral inventory. If and when I do become fearful, I give my fears to God. I ask Him for help.

I am very dedicated to the soul searching that I engage in when I’m doing my inventories. I think my books and music are testaments to that. I have left nothing behind, no stone left unturned. That is the whole point, as far as I’m concerned. I need to keep working the program to keep growing spiritually. I need to keep growing spiritually in order to grow closer to God and become the kind of person He wants me to be. I can’t grow if I’m not willing to look honestly at myself to see what’s really there. Otherwise I’m just wasting my time.

And to me, working my 12-Step program means not working the steps just once, but multiple times (thus all the inventories). This takes the dedication of time, effort, and stamina. It involves being willing to look at myself honestly without getting so discouraged that I walk away. And when I get so discouraged at what I see that I want to walk away, I have to pray for the willingness to be willing to stay with it, accept where I’m at, and be willing to work on it to change. All of this is done with God’s help.

I am a fearless, dedicated seeker in other areas of my life too. That is how I came to play the cello. That is how I got my job of being a strings teacher. One has to be quite fearless and dedicated to do this job because stringed instruments are by far the most difficult instruments to play, especially the violin. In my opinion, it is the most difficult instrument of all of them to play. But I wanted to learn, so I started working at it. I got a job. I still work at it. I did not let the difficulty of the instruments or job scare me away. I dedicated myself to it. My soul is grateful as I have found playing this music very fulfilling. I have referred to this throughout this book.

I am proud of myself for being a fearless, dedicated seeker. Thanks be to God for the gift of this positive character trait.