Accepting

Despite my episodic struggles with acceptance, I am grateful to report that working my program of recovery is turning me into a more accepting person. I am so grateful to be able to say that Juliet is a more accepting person today.

I am more accepting of many things in my life now, thanks to the work I’ve done in my program. I am more accepting of how much work I get done in a day, for example. I still struggle with workaholism, but just having an awareness of my tendency to go overboard in this area helps me to rein it in when I need to do that. Then I can pray for the willingness to be willing to accept whatever I got done that day as God’s will. Then I can pray to accept it, then let it go.

I still struggle with accepting difficult circumstances, such as my brother-in-law’s illness and eventual death that I have written about throughout this book. Illness and death are some of the most difficult issues for any human being to face and I am no different. The good news is that I have done extensive recovery work on this issue and have come to a place of acceptance around it. I still miss him very much and still fret about my sister and her grief process but now I am accepting that things are how they are. I’m not running down the street trying to change it.

I am much more accepting of my own defects of character. I still have these defects, of course; but thanks to the work I’m doing in recovery, the defects are lessening, bit by bit, a little at a time. In addition to this work, my practice in the position of the observer has enhanced my ability to step into that mode much more quickly than I used to in the past. I can then recognize when I’m practicing a behavior that doesn’t serve me. (This could be rage, workaholism, obsessiveness, or compulsiveness, etc.) Now instead of beating myself up every time I fall into practicing one of my defects, I simply acknowledge my awareness of the behavior, accept it, and make a different choice. This is progress. This is recovery.

When I’m having a difficult time accepting reality as it is, then I use the tools. I chant my mantras, positive affirmations, and slogans, engage in journaling, worship, take a walk, and focus on my breathing.

I am grateful to God for giving me this program that has helped me to become a more accepting person.